Top Gun: Maverick didn’t disappoint. It hit all the nostalgic notes from the first Top Gun movie more than thirty years ago and gave a nod to the most iconic scenes. One of the overarching theme’s of the movie is the idea of never leaving your wingman. A wingman sticks by your side through thick and thin, willing to sacrifice their very life for the good of the mission. This critically important role provides help, protection and support while staying close, sharing in the mission.
The way I see it…every pastor needs a wingman. Or wingwoman.
A pastor’s wife shares in the triumphs and trials, joys and sorrow, times of plenty and times of lean in ministry. She knows who he is in public and behind closed doors. She shares the mission of her husband to love and serve the church. Here are five ways to affirm the wingwoman in your life.
- Affirm her publicly. Speak positively about your wife to others. Accentuate her strengths and make it known you are her biggest fan. She is fiercely devoted to you, highlight your devotion to her with words that build up and edify.
- Affirm her proactively. Take the initiative to block out dates on the calendar for time together. Make the first move when you sense something is wrong. Anticipate her needs before she has to say something.
- Affirm her continuously. Your ministry is to your family first, before the church. Whether you’ve been married for 5 months or 50+ years there will always be something to learn about each other. Make it a habit to better your relationship perpetually.
- Affirm her unconditionally. As ministry couples we live in glass houses. Men, we cannot understand the role our wives are in and the stress she is under. When life happens and emotions run high, give grace with no strings attached.
- Affirm her privately. Model for your children how to love and care for their mother at home. They learn how to serve, love, respect, disagree and handle conflict living under your roof. Make sure the model you preach about from the stage is the same model you live out in front of your family.
I love the way The Message phrases Ephesians 5:25-28. “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.”
So how do you go all out for your wingwoman? I’d love to know what you would add to this list.
Keith Durham 