Keith Durham

May 12, 1990 — Terri and I set a trajectory for our future, committing to do life together till death do us part. We’ve spent 35 years honoring that commitment through some really high highs and some really low lows—in our marriage, ministry, and life.

This anniversary, we took a European trip to celebrate how far we’ve come—from two wide-eyed kids without a cent to our names to the life we share today. As I sit and reflect on the journey, the trip feels like a mirror of our marriage. Here are just a few reflections (cue Shania Twain’s “You’re Still The One”):

1. Variety is the spice of life.

We traveled by plane, ship, taxi, metro, railway, subway, tuk tuk, and city bus. In our married life, we’ve owned 14 different vehicles—hand-me-downs, borrowed, brand new, and well-loved. And with each one, Terri has taught me to embrace change and make the most of what we have. I tend to lean into the status quo, but she’s always looking for what’s next—and that keeps our marriage from becoming dull and predictable.

2. Memories are made by the unexpected.

We met an actor on a walking food tour in Rome who had just wrapped filming a movie set to release in 2026. We had dinner next to an Italian senator and spent half an hour discussing politics—American and Italian. We stood in line for not one but two hours to see the lost city of Pompeii, and it turned out to be a highlight of the trip.

In my younger years, the unexpected made me uncomfortable. Terri has taught me how to live in the moment and not worry about what’s next. I’m not perfect at it, but some of our best memories have come from simply being present.

3. It doesn’t matter where life takes you if you’re with the one you love most.

On this trip, we visited 10 European cities, went on countless tours, and met people from around the world. I had the best Italian dinner of my life in Florence, learned about worm fertilizer from a retired Australian chiropractor, and walked through Vatican City the day before the conclave. We also stayed in an Airbnb with no A/C, navigated a train workers’ strike on our departure day from Rome, and averaged 15,000 steps a day. But being there with my life partner made it all okay.

4. Remember the highs and lows.

One high: driving a convertible along the French Riviera in Marseille, dipping my toe in the Mediterranean Sea, and shopping in a quaint town. One low: shuffling shoulder to shoulder through the Vatican Museums, barely able to stop and admire the masterpieces. Every relationship has highs and lows—celebrate the highs and learn from the lows.

Little did I know where life would take us when we got married in 1990: twelve homes, two states, four degrees, three amazing adult kids (with three incredible spouses), four grandkids—and two more arriving this summer. I wouldn’t trade the world for the masterpiece mosaic our life has become.